Her curiosities about everything increasing each day, Qiangu studies hard during the day but come nightfall, her spirit wonders around with Dongfang so she is no longer bored. Bai Zihua doesn’t talk much at all even if he is a patient teacher. That sort of teaching was perfect for the Qiangu of the past but for this current slower Qiangu, then Bai Zihua’s style of teaching doesn’t work so well. In comparison, Dongfang takes Qiangu all over, showing her many strange new things while gently teaching her about life at the same time.

Master is too perfect but there is always a feeling of distance so she often hangs on him, afraid that he will one day disappear like the way he appeared. However, Dongfeng is touchable and real. From the palace to the east sea, from the heavenly mountains to the town market, Dongfeng shows her what this world is really like.

Most importantly, Dongfang doesn’t try to avoid telling her of her past. For example, he told her how she was also Master’s pupil in her previous life and the two of them were part of Changliu. After finding out Master had hidden so many things from her, Qiangu was only a bit surprised without feeling any resentment or anger. Telling herself that she needs to trust Master, Qiangu knows that Master must have his own reasons so she never tried to confront him.

At first, Qiangu listens to Dongfang’s words like he was talking about someone else’s story but the more she listens, the more the stories feel familiar. They seem to be far away memories that she had forgotten. She knows that she is different and she knows that certain things can’t be avoided. Dongfang wants her to choose…choose to start all over or to pick up the unbearable pain of her past. Dongfang’s expression was so serious that it made her heart tremble with fear. She is afraid that she won’t be able to handle it but Dongfang seems to have a lot of confidence in her. She has been thinking about Dongfang’s question for over six months. After all, it takes a lot of courage to stop being herself and choose to pick up someone else’s lifetime. To her, at least the her right now, the one that has been lost is no longer her then. But she also doesn’t want to live like she does now either. She doesn’t want everyone to lie to her, treating her like she is a fool. Especially after Dongfang explains that if everything stays the same, then Master will live in pain forever and ever. Eventually, she finally told Dongfang that she wants to remember everything, she wants to go back being the real her.

She doesn’t know why Master is in pain but her heart aches just knowing that. Dongfang had only told her a little about Master’s story then refused to tell her the rest of it. However, she could see for herself that hiding beneath’s Master’s gentle calm expression, there is despair. She remembers the scary moments when Master loses control or the confusion in his eyes when he looks at her sometimes.

One time, while Master wasn’t paying attention, she had pulled up his sleeve and as expected, saw the big scar on his arm. That’s when she finally realized on the nights when Master would wake up from nightmares, drenched in sweat while holding his arm, it was because of the intense pain.

Master raised her since she was young. She can do everything for him…including becoming the one he wants…

Nodding with a gentle smile, Dongfang told her that she is still the brave and stubborn girl he remembered. Handing a pill over to her, Dongfang tells her that when she is finally ready to go back being her complete self then she is to take it. Dongfang also told her that Master has been doing everything he can the last few years to repair her spirit but Master has been extremely careful, unwilling to use external help and avoiding the past so even though her body has become much stronger, her spirit is still not whole.

“This pill can help you remember your past. But as I said before, everything has a cost. Even Bai Zihua and Sha Qianmo couldn’t heal you so it would be impossible to do it with a little pill. The pill’s only function is to forcefully transfer the healing on your body to your spirit. Do you understand what I am saying? It means you will recover your memory but the cost could be great to your body. So you must consider carefully. Don’t make a rush judgment because once you take the pill, there is no going back.”

Nodding with half of an understanding, Qiangu replies “Hasn’t Master been missing the Qiangu of the past? So why won’t he let me recover my memories?”

“Because too many irreversible things have happened, he is afraid of losing you.”

Shaking her head, Qiangu insists “Not matter what happens, I will not leave Master.”

“Gu Tou, of course that’s what you think right now. But you might feel differently when your memories return. No matter what, I will respect your decision. I wasn’t able to do it in the previous life, but I can do it this life- giving you a chance to choose. Even though I pity him and I also owe you both, but if you yourself is unwilling, then no matter what, I won’t let you continue to stay by him.”

“How about Dongfang? What’s my relationship with Dongfang in my previous life? You said Tangbao is our child, then am I Dongfang’s wife?”

With a laugh, Dongfang shakes his head “Unfortunately, not yet.”

Eagerly, Qiangu asks “Then can I marry you this life?” Without any shyness of a girl, Qiangu’s eyes are wide with excitement.

An expression with a hint of pain and struggle flash across Dongfang’s eyes before he puts on his trademark dazzling smile “Alright. I will wait for you. If after you remember everything, you still choose me then even if it costs my life and everything I have, I will be with you.”

 

The million dollar question of the week: Who do you guys think our heroine should choose? I’ll make my case for my choice in the next week’s post.

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