Journey of Flower Translation #27

Hua Qiangu looks down and lets out a soft laugh as she suddenly remembers the letter she wrote herself the night before. She also remembered what Mo Bing Xian said to her before the big battle: Don’t hate, don’t ever give up the chance to love. Believe me, if you are willing, there is nothing that can’t be salvaged in this world.

Don’t hate? Even though she had promised him then, in the end, she still hated Bai Zihua.
But after all these years after watching Bai Zihua simply existing, missing her night and day, she can still feel her own heart breaking at the memory. Without realizing it, she has already let go of the hate long ago…and only regret is left.

How could she stand to watch him live in pain continually? But the curse she uttered in despair and revenge can’t be reversed. The only thing left is to do everything in her power to be by his side forever and ever, so that she can fix her mistake.

As for Bai Zihua, she knows that after the unbearable pain of loss and years of longing for her, he has finally learned to face his own feelings. How does she know? Because she heard him. When she was leaving after he had apologized, he had lowered his head and muttered: “Don’t go.”

She never needed his apology for the past nor does she need his promise for the future. In truth, one simple “Don’t go.” is enough to hold onto her.

By the time Qiangu rushed back with Tangbao, Bai Zihua is nowhere to be found, leaving only Hengji behind. Not in Cloud Mountain or Chang Liu, it seemed like Bai Zihua had simply evaporated from this world…but as one who can’t die nor hurt, he can’t go to the underworld so where else can he be?

After another exhausting search, Qiangu finally finds Bai Zihua at the bottom of Chang Liu’s sea. Nearly depleting everything in her to get into the closed-off space, Qiangu could hardly stand upright. Under the blue sea water, Bai Zihua is silently floating in a deep sleep. Her eyes taking in the bottles that are strewn about, Qiangu shakes her head with a mixture of amusement and heartache. Bai Zihua can’t die nor hurt but he can still get drunk. After drinking so much “Wine of Forgetting” and taking “The Pill of Dreamy Death”, he could count on sleeping for a couple hundred years.

He had thought she really left him forever, how much pain and desperation he must’ve felt for him to resort to something like this? Without any more will to live but can’t find relief in death either… In the end, she is the cruelest person. It was her that single handily destroyed him so now, how can she leave again?

Tenderly caressing Bai Zihua’s face, Qiangu did her best to get rid of the effect of the pill but there wasn’t much she could do on the wine.

Sitting quietly by Bai Zihua’s side, Qiangu spends her days talking to Tangbao or listening to the lively noise up on Chang Liu or simply drinking in the sight of the sleeping man.
Finally waking up after a full month, Bai Zihua thought for sure he was still dreaming when he opens his eyes and sees Qiangu. This time, his scar isn’t hurting but something heavy seems to be weighing on his chest. Why wake him up? Still slightly drunk, Zihua frowns with annoyance. Having rarely seen Bai Zihua this drunk, Qiangu feels her heart pounding wildly as she looks into his twinkling eyes that are cold yet seductive at the same time. Holding her breath, a flustered Qiangu quickly looks away.

Her chin suddenly caught by long elegant fingers.
“Xiao Gu, say Master…”
“Master…” Obedient, Qiangu calls out.
“Good, again…”
“Master…”
“Again.”
“Master…”
“…..”
Still not satisfied, Zihua’s eyes are half closed as he listens to Qiangu repeats again and again.
“Master, master, master, master, master…”
Without any impatience, Qiangu calls out again and again. With each call, the happiness and the pain of the past come rushing back to her as her voice goes from calm to rage then to simply tears.
With each call, the overflowing love and regret resurface again. With each call of “Master”, some had resentment, some were questioning, some had regret, some had fury…
His own heart feels like it has been ripped apart and stomped on again and again by the sight of her tears, Zihua scoops Qiangu’s fragile body into his arms. Holding Qiangu tightly to him like he wants to mold her body into his own, Zihua kisses away her tears.

“I thought you left and will never be back.”
“I promised Master that I will not leave again.” Even if the promise was made before she recovered her memory but they still count! She doesn’t want to be a demon goddess, she doesn’t want to be someone’s bride. She doesn’t want anything. She just wants to be his obedient pupil, staying by his side forever.

Cupping Qiangu’s face with his hand, an overjoyed Bai Zihua leans down for a long kiss without any hesitation.
Stunned, it took a long while before Qiangu finally recovered from her shock before she burst out in tears of joy and throws her arms around Zihua while awkwardly trying to respond back to his kiss.

Master’s lips are still cool, carrying with them the fragrance of the wine, making her feel like she is drunk as well. Her mind completely blank, Qiangu could feel the heart that has been buried deep in a bottomless ocean is rising slowly as all the pain of the past, all the bitterness evaporating.

ps. This is NOT the ending. We still need to wrap up some more stuff.

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