Shao Ning had always been radiant, pampered, and accustomed to every luxurious comfort. By all rights, she should have been the last person to develop such an ailment. Could it be that the temple’s harsh conditions had left her undernourished and led to her illness? Or perhaps, after having her innocence deceptively taken from her, had she sunk into such grief and bitterness that she had deliberately neglected her own health?
But that didn’t seem like Shao Ning either. So how did she get to this state?
She can’t quite figure out Shao Ning at this point. The current Shao Ning is no longer that spoiled, domineering, and willful little princess she used to be. She is dazed and indifferent, seemingly content with her life in the imperial temple, and she is not even clamoring to marry her anymore. The Tiansheng Emperor, on the other hand, is a different story. Not long ago, when she went to see the emperor, the old emperor had hinted that after the two years of cultivation at the imperial temple are done, he would find a reason to bring the princess out of the imperial temple and bestow Shao Ning to her as wife. He also warned her not to marry anyone else while serving as the governor of Jianghai.
Feng Zhi Wei could only manage a wry smile—thankfully, she is a woman. If she were a man, and Shao Ning had changed her mind and refused to marry, would she then have to stay single for life? (This would usually be the case if a woman were supposed to marry a prince and the marriage ended up falling through for some reason. Even if the prince were the one who rejected the marriage, no one else would dare to marry the woman who “almost became the prince’s woman,” so I guess the same logic goes for a man who “almost married a princess.”)
Shao Ning entertained her in the backyard of the Imperial Temple and dismissed all the servants. A white stone table was set up with a few small dishes and two pots of clear wine. Feng Zhi Wei let out another wry smile when she saw the dishes— they were all meat dishes.
This discovery actually put her at ease a bit. At least Shao Ning’s unrestrained and free-spirited personality remained, and had not become a complete stranger.
The two of them didn’t say much, and just kept on drinking in silence. Feng Zhi Wei thought perhaps the failure to escort Consort Qing the other night had caused Shao Ning to be down in spirit. Shao Ning had always been proud and arrogant. She also had high hopes for that younger imperial brother. After carefully and painstakingly waiting for ten months, just when she thought she had succeeded, Ning Yi struck her down. No wonder this proud and arrogant princess couldn’t stand it.
There is another sense of unease in Feng Zhi Wei’s heart. That unease came from Consort Qing—this woman clearly gave birth in the underground chamber that very night, yet she somehow managed to disappear right under Ning Yi’s watch. Then, she even managed to return to the palace! Still the emperor’s favored consort, despite losing the child– with the excuse to the public that it was an accidental miscarriage. Who knows how much truth the emperor really knew. Afterwards, it didn’t seem like Consort Qing had tried to do anything to Ning Yi. Was it because Ning Yi’s power was too great for Consort Qing to challenge, or was it because of another reason? Even Feng Zhi Wei couldn’t guess.
She sat there drinking, lost in her own thoughts. Sitting across from her, Shao Ning also looked distracted as she drank one cup after another. By the time Feng Zhi Wei had the presence of mind to stop her, Shao Ning was already drunk. Feng Zhi Wei went over to help her. With red flushed cheeks, Shao Ning leaned softly against her and obediently let her help her back to her room. Feng Zhi Wei squatted down to take off her shoes, but Shao Ning abruptly grabbed her lapel and leaned her body right into Feng Zhi Wei’s.
When she fell, she didn’t forget to grab onto Feng Zhi Wei’s lapel, her hands gripping tightly.
Feng Zhi Wei froze, groaning inwardly. She really hoped this princess was not pretending to be drunk in order to try to have her way with her. She quickly tried to push her hands away, but Shao Ning would not allow it. At some point, Shao Ning’s black hair had come loose and was cascading onto the pillow. The alcohol had made her originally haggard face flushed red like a peach blossom, and her eyes were shimmering like rippled water. Her usual fierce, combative air was all gone, leaving only the innocent tenderness.
Looking at that face, glowing with such raw emotions in front of her, Feng Zhi Wei felt her poor little heart was on the verge of collapse. The scene from last time was already shocking enough. If it happened again, she couldn’t promise that she would be able to stop herself from turning around and just walking away. So she could only apply a bit more force as she gently pried Shao Ning’s hand away and whispered, “Princess….you drank too much…this is a place for cultivation….”
Hearing her words, Shao Ning suddenly became indignant. She jerked her head to the side, spat, and said, “What ‘place of pure cultivation’? What ‘jade palace and golden halls’?…It’s nothing but one prison replaced by another. Just one excuse wrapped around another excuse! My eldest brother was right back then…The imperial family never knows freedom, just golden dolls trapped in gilded cages!”
She pressed her burning flushed face against Feng Zhi Wei’s arm. Her whole body clung around it as if her bones had melted. Under her breath, she muttered something, but her words were too indistinct for Feng Zhi Wei to hear. Feng Zhi Wei didn’t dare lean in to listen, after all, Shao Ning might mistake the gesture as an acquiescence to some invitation. Instead, she concentrated on extracting her arm, but Shao Ning held on tightly, like a drowning person clutching at the only piece of driftwood within reach. Pulled downward, Feng Zhi Wei vaguely caught some words:
“Give me one….”
Give her one what? Feng Zhi Wei frowned. It was a strange thing to say. Carefully bracing her hands on her knees, keeping a bit of distance as she leaned in to listen. But Shao Ning never did explain clearly. She simply repeated over and over: “Give me one….give me one….”
There was an obvious way to complete the sentence. For example, give me one unforgettable, intoxicating night. But Feng Zhi Wei instinctively felt that wasn’t it. Given Shao Ning’s status, she would never have spoken such words out loud.
Seeing Shao Ning’s flushed cheeks and the reckless drunken tugging, Feng Zhi Wei worried that the incident with Lu Zhi Yan grabbing at her chest might be repeated. Sighing, she reached out and tapped the back of Shao Ning’s neck. The princess immediately went limp. Feng Zhi Wei settled her on the bed, pulled the quilt over her, then stood with her hands clasped behind her back, watching her quietly for a long moment before finally letting out another sigh and left.
Stepping out of the imperial temple, she glanced at the gloomy, overcast sky. It’s going to rain.
——————-
By the back of Wei Manor, a row of trunks and chests was being loaded onto carriages. Feng Zhi Wei was not planning to make a grand departure out of the Capital. Technically, she was supposed to leave the next day, when there would undoubtedly be a large crowd coming to see her off. Such a send-off would be exhausting and attract way too much attention. It was much better to slip away quietly a day early.
There was, of course, another reason she could not admit even to herself— she was afraid Ning Yi would come to see her off. Ning Yi had been constantly traveling between Jianhuai and the imperial capital, busy with overseeing the dredging of the canal connecting the capital and Jianghuai. They had each been busy with their own matters. Most of their meetings were mostly public ones during court sessions or official gatherings. They would exchange a smile and a formal bow, and everything would appear perfectly normal. To everyone else, these interactions were appropriate and completely normal. Yet, every one of these seemingly ordinary encounters felt like grains of sand grinding against her heart. Now that she had finally made up her mind, seeing him in these meetings had become nothing but torment and unease.
Enough, she told herself. Stop indulging in warmth and tenderness that should never have existed. She lifted her face into the misty drizzle of early November, surprised by how cold the rain was against her skin.
A carriage with black canopy and blue silk curtains approached briskly. The curtain lifted, revealing Zong Chen’s smiling face. “We can leave now.”
Feng Zhi Wei answered with a “Mm”, climbed aboard without a sound, and made her way straight out of the capital. After reaching the ferry port on the outskirts of the city, they boarded a boat, traveling downstream toward Jianghuai.
At some point, a light rain began to fall. By November, there was already a bit of winter chill in the imperial capital air. Wrapped in an oilcloth rain cape, Feng Zhi Wei watched the luggage being loaded onto the boat. Then she pointed to a small skiff drifting freely not far away and said, “A boat like that, gliding through the rain, that’s what you call true elegance.”
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