In the deafening stuffy silence, there is a heavy metallic smell in the air as the palace physicians rush in and out. The palace maids enter the room with basins of clean water but by the time they come back out the water has been dyed bright red with blood.
The Emperor’s face is somber as he sits in the outer room with a book in hand, but it is obvious that he hasn’t read a single word. There is no hope for Madam Feng. She had not left the slightest chance of survival for herself. According to the palace physicians, she should’ve died a long time ago but he knows that she is holding on for Feng Zhi Wei. He had immediately summoned Feng Zhi Wei to be brought in yet he knew that by the time Feng Zhi Wei was found and made it through the numerous layers of security gates it would be too late. She is just torturing herself, why do this to herself?
“Your Majesty…” A palace physician hurried out, “I am afraid…it will be soon…”
The Emperor’s heart sinks. She really is not going to be able to hold on!
“Your Majesty!” A eunuch steps in, calls out in a hush voice.
Impatient, the Emperor was about to yell in anger until he heard the eunuch whispers a few words.
Raising an eyebrow, the Emperor puts down his book. “She is here? So fast?”, followed by a surprised exclamation of “She barged through six palace gates!”
“Ming Ying has someone to follow in her footsteps…” Remembering that precious memory of that woman at the feast all those years ago, an expression of joy flashed across the Emperor’s eyes as he said loudly, “Summon her in quickly!”
In the next moment, a woman with long hair wearing a black skirt appeared on the steps. Seemingly out of breath a bit, her breathing was fast with beads of sweat on her forehead. The woman hurried over, her face growing paler with each step.
“You are here.” Still seated, the Emperor says with a forlorn expression, “Go see her.”
Hearing the Emperor’s words, Zhi Wei was so relieved that she almost collapsed on the floor that very moment. She had rushed all the way back to the capital, her strength had long been spent but she had ended up having to barge her way through the six gates so she really is at the end of her rope. However, the time to collapse has not yet arrived. She struggled and bowed to the Emperor before going into the room. The Emperor watched her go with an affectionate expression, the more Feng Zhi Wei is like Qiu Ming Ying the more reassured he is. (Reassured because this is just another proof that Zhi Wei is really Qiu Ming Ying’s birth daughter. Which is also why the Emperor doesn’t mind the fact that Zhi Wei could fight…like her mother. It would’ve been also really obvious that Feng Hao couldn’t fight at all so that’s another “proof” to the Emperor that Qiu Ming Ying really had no plan to help the “prince” to become the next emperor and had only raised him out of pity.)
Zhi Wei headed straight for the inner palace while everyone else had vacated themselves. Her head covered with a white cloth to cover her wound, Madam Feng looks straight up at the ceiling, her eyes are slowly losing focus.
“Mother!” Stumbling forward, Zhi Wei throws herself against the bedside.
Hearing Zhi Wei’s voice, Madam Feng’s eyes instantly brighten and regain their focus as she struggles to grab Zhi Wei’s hand.
“You…really came…” Her voice is weak as she says with a small smile on her lips, “…I almost…couldn’t wait…”
Grasping her mother’s hand tightly, Zhi Wei closes her eyes and whispers “I won’t let you wait in vain…I am here…”
Reaching out a hand, Zhi Wei gently pulls back the white cloth on Madam Feng’s head. Unable to stop her, Madam Feng gives her a soft smile. Staring unblinkingly at the bloody grisly wound, Zhi Wei takes in the sight and buries deep into her heart, etched into her memory so it will never be forgotten. She wants to remember her mother’s wound, just like she wants to remember everything this cold-blooded empire has given to her family. She wants to remember how just when she had thought everything was turning better, that she can finally let her mother live in peace, someone had brutally dashed her and her family’s dreams. She wants to really remember the bitter pain of this world, like this grisly wound, she wants to bury it into her heart so it will never ever heal again.
The pearl bead curtain is pulled back as the Emperor steps in. In the end, he still couldn’t be at ease. (“Couldn’t be at ease” This was an interesting usage of the phrase the author used because at first glance one would assume the Emperor is worried about Madam Feng, but it could also be interpreted that the Emperor is still suspicious.)
Madam Feng doesn’t say anything, neither does Zhi Wei as she keeps her eyes closed, feeling the words her mother’s finger is writing in her palm. The finger was weak so the words were hardly words but they nonetheless will become the most searing mark of her life that will pierce her to the soul and follow her into her nightmares.
“Zhi Wei.” The Emperor averts his eyes away from the grisly wound and says gently, “You need to be strong…”
Listening to the kind voice, Zhi Wei lets out a chilling smile. Seeing the sudden desperate expression in Madam Feng’s eyes, Zhi Wei squeezes her hand assuringly. Mother, rest assured, I understand.
Turning around, her expression already changing to one of sorrow and deep gratitude, “Your Majesty…”
Madam Feng moved slightly, still holding Zhi Wei’s hand as she desperately reached towards the Emperor’s direction. Biting her lips, Zhi Wei hesitates and looks towards the Emperor timidly.
His heart melting at the sight of the mother and daughter’s expression, the Emperor quickly steps forward to accept Zhi Wei’s hand from Madam Feng’s. Dropping Zhi Wei’s hand right after he held it in his palm, the Emperor declares in a deep voice “Zhi Wei, your mother has done much for this empire. I owe her a lot and this will end up being repaid on you. From now on, you will become Princess Chang Ying, I will treat you like my own daughter. You… don’t have to worry…”
Throwing herself on the ground, Zhi Wei says “Thank you, Your Majesty!” Her fingers dig into the cracks between the golden tiles, her nails silently breaking until the blood slowly seeps into the cracks to join the dark mark that was left by Madam Feng not too long ago.
As her heart is being torn to pieces, she stares up at the Emperor as if she is staring at her own father.
Reminded of the child’s pitiful background and how she is now an orphan from this point on, the Emperor feels himself tearing up.
Zhi Wei turns back towards a smiling Madam Feng.
Yes, Madam Feng is smiling. Zhi Wei…her Zhi Wei. This is the daughter she has given all to cherish and protect. No matter how furious, how bereaved, no matter how the bitter pain is driving her to the brink of losing her mind, she is still retaining a clarity of mind, forever making the most correct decision- even if that decision requires all of her strength, requiring her to suppress that hatred until her very bones are crackling under the pressure. She sees her burning hatred, that blood that refuses to dispel. She sees her unrelenting regret that will keep bubbling up inside forever. She sees her in a black robe riding a black horse, with a long sword breaking apart this vibrant flourishing generation. With a small satisfied smile, she lets herself float upward. This world is too burdensome, she can no longer suffer it anymore. Her whole life has been carefully calculated for this last finish, to start the beginning of the changing of an empire. She is tired now, things from this point on will be turned over to those who keep on living. She can finally go see him with a smile. Oh, no…there is still a bit…a bit more left…
Pressing herself back down, she struggled to open her eyes and signals for her daughter to come close. Zhi Wei presses her tear filled face against her lips. Her face and her lips are both freezing cold, as cold as the snow on the tallest mountain that will never melt and will never see the light of the day.
“Don’t blame mother…don’t blame…your brother…” With an apologetic smile, Madam Feng mutters by Zhi Wei’s ears “…the purpose of his existence…is to die for you…” The last word of her life was like a small light breeze that hammed deeply into the girl’s already hole ridden heart.
“Ah…” Blood sprayed onto the gold tiles!
In Chinese novels, coughing up blood is common for those who are in deep emotional distress, so this is to show that Madam Feng’s last words finally broke our heroine.”
All text copyright @ www.Ninja-Reflection.com
Your translation has packed more drama than the drama itself! 😂
Thank you ninja reflection 🙂 I am appreciating these so much. Poor Zhi Wei. Just as sad as the scene in the drama.
Estou muito emocionada sem saber quando a dor foi maior, se no drama se no romance. Agora esperar para ver o que acontece…..
So does ZW know who she is now?
And ugh/ gut wrenching- your mom’s last words to you are that your brothers entire purpose in life was just to die for you? …. I’m sorry I just absolutely can’t stand Ming Ying.
Thank you!
The author doesn’t come right out and says it but I think it would be pretty difficult for her to miss it by this point. I had a thought the other day about Ming Ying. What would my feelings towards her be if she was a male general? I have to admit that I find myself judging her a lot more harshly if her story ended up being a male general who ended up turning against his own country after he falls in love with a woman from the previous empire. Still, don’t judge Ming Ying too harshly though…as we will find out at the end of the novel, she is a more tragic character than we would’ve guessed.
loved the translation! so emotional!
I’m left emotionally drained.
Ming Ying is an extraordinary woman. A tough act to follow
Thanks