After a long long moment, Zhi Wei finally asks “You….love him, right?” Without a love that is as deep as carving into one’s bones, no one could’ve gone to this length.
Hua Qing’s smile, after hearing this question, darkened a bit but immediately brightens again as she says cheerfully, “Yes.”
Her answer was so quick but the meaning behind it made Zhi Wei fall into deep thoughts.
Despite knowing the one she loves doesn’t love her.
Despite knowing her mother in law doesn’t accept her.
Despite knowing by doing so the world would ridicule her, believing she is just greedy for wealth and power.
But she still damaged her own reputation, hurt her own body to declare in front of thousands of people a lie, simply to save the man she loves.
It was only at this moment Zhi Wei finally understood the extent of her bravery.
She had thought the two had feelings for one another so Hua Qing’s public marriage proposal was no risk at all. However, in actuality, Hua Qing wasn’t certain of the outcome when she proposed in front of the ancestry door. If Yan Huai Shi had said “No”, then what awaited her would be Yan clan’s relentless and merciless revenge– it was justifiable for them to kill whoever (not belonging to Yan clan) had caused a ruckus outside of the ancestry door.
“At least now you guys finally have a happy ending.” Zhi Wei looks at Hua Qing with a soft smile, “From now on, you are Yan clan leader’s wife, no one would be able to look down on you again.”
“No.”
Zhi Wei’s hand that had just picked up the teacup shook again and the cup almost fell to the ground but was caught by Hua Qing.
“My good lady, can you please not scare me every time?” Zhi Wei lets out a wry smile.
Hua Qing puts down the tea cups, grabs Zhi Wei’s hand in one swoop, “Take me with you!”
Zhi Wei stares at Hua Qing blankly then looks down at her hand that’s grasping her own. If it wasn’t for the fact that she is certain Hua Qing wouldn’t fall in love with her, she almost thought this is another Princess Shao Ning.
“Madam Yan…” Zhi Wei looks pointedly at their clasped hands to remind her that this does not follow decorum.
Yet, Hua Qing doesn’t let go of her hand and instead peers at her with bright eyes.
“You know I am…” Zhi Wei is a bit confused. Her mask is extremely well made and she is quite skilled in pretending to be a man so how did this woman see through her disguise?
“The way His Highness looks at you.” Hua Qing smiles, “I have been there, I understand.”
Zhi Wei was silent for a long moment. Who would’ve thought the oversight ended up being Ning Yi, but then there are not many people who are as observant nor understand the emotions of affection as well as Hua Qing so there is no need to be too worried.
Zhi Wei blurts out crankily “His Highness actually likes men.”
Hua Qing burst out laughing “You sure are a hard one…someone like His Highness, how would it be possible that he likes men?”
“What kind of person is he?” Zhi Wei suddenly wants to know how other people see Ning Yi.
“His Highness is not someone who is full of affection, in fact, the opposite is true, he is very cold.” Hua Qing explains, “You didn’t personally see what happened in South Sea recently. It scared a lot of people how cold and heartless His Highness’ methods were. He is truly someone destined to achieve great things. He waits patiently and unwaveringly but once he moves then it shakes heaven and earth. Someone like this has the whole world in mind. Whatever he does, it has been planned carefully and meticulously, no mistakes are allowed…including his own heart.”
Zhi Wei smiles and replies “Yes, it (his heart) is certainly controlled quite well.”
“But it is dashed for you.” Hua Qing summarized with a certainty that will not allow arguments.
Zhi Wei doesn’t reply but something warm and gentle appeared in her expression. Sitting opposite from her, Hua Qing grins as the fall sunlight sheds its light on the white stoned courtyard.
“Then why leave?” After being silent for a while, Zhi Wei changes the subject.
“For my own happiness.” Hua Qing says, “I am not in Huai Shi’s heart. If I marry him in this manner then I am still not in his heart. My proposal that day was only done to save him and his mother. Even if he is willing to just silently raise someone else’s baby as Yan Chang Tian, I am not willing.”
“You deserve this.” Zhi Wei replies, “If it wasn’t for you sacrificing your own reputation and putting yourself in danger, Huai Shi would not be who he is today. If he seeks divorce to remarry, I for one won’t allow it.”
“He is willing to marry me, but I am not willing to marry him.” Hua Qing gives Zhi Wei a proud smile “I, Hua Qing, how could I marry someone who grudgingly marries me? If I marry him like this, even if he will respect me for the rest of our lives, he will never love me.”
Zhi Wei stares at the complex expression on Hua Qing’s face and suddenly understands her pride and her self respect. If she marries Yan Huai Shi like this, Madan Chen and Yan Huai Shi would unavoidably feel aggrieved. After all, a village widow pregnant with someone else’s child is truly not a proper match for the Yan clan leader. Moreover, Yan Huai Shi’s feelings for her can’t even be considered love yet.
If it was another woman, perhaps they would’ve proudly married into Yan clan but not Hua Qing.
“When you leave South Sea, I want to go with you.” Holding Zhi Wei’s hand, Hua Qing says earnestly, “As a woman from a common background you have come this far and have become an important government official. I admire that very much. Please let me stay by your side and take me to see a much bigger wider world.”
“You need to think through this carefully. Once you leave, Huai Shi won’t owe you anything anymore, he could possibly marry someone else.”
“If he can forget me that easily, then how is he worth risking my life and holding him in my heart for the rest of my life?” Hua Qing grins, “Liking someone, doesn’t mean tossing away one’s self respect.”
Under the sunlight the women’s figure is tall and strong, her gaze frank and bright.
“I don’t need anyone to bestow a not exactly blissful love upon me out of pity. I don’t want to become the wife of a clan leader, living a peaceful life thanks to an honorable married name because my mother-in-law and husband pitied me. What I want is to be a woman who controls her own life, who will be refined in the storms of Tian Sheng empire. I want him, Yan Huai Shi to one day to have no choice but to take an honest look at me. I want him to one day come to the understanding that my love for him is deeper than the oceans and taller than the mountains, a love that surpasses all.”
Isn’t Hua Qing so cool?!
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One of my favourite fragment you’ve translated . So nice to see NY and ZW through someone else’s eyes
The Hua Qing in the movie can’t compare to the one in the novel! She is awesome!
RESPECT for Hua Qing!
Hope she has a happy ending too..
ZW and NY can fool everyone else but not her..
Excellent passage about two happening women!!
Hua Qing is awesome!! Why do they water down these characters?!?!? She’s so much cooler here than in the drama
Okay…I love her. The Drama did a huge disservice to her story. Love stories of Strong, Intelligent and self-aware women.
As vezes os personagens nós surpreende!!!
Mais uma vez obrigada!!!
I love how Hua Qing is developing. Full of insight and integrity. Love her character.
WOW! That’s what I call an awesome woman!! The bit of her that we saw in the drama is truly nothing comparing with what she does in the novel!! Thank you very much for your hard work <3
Yes she is brilliant, I just love the way the novel portrays her character. The drama certainly did not do her justice. I do hope as well that she has a happy ending. I did not like the way she died in the drama.
That was a great passage. I loved this exchange between two very strong women. This should have been made more apparent in the series. Thank you for including this among your translations.