It was like she had a long long dream. The dream was a long life, everything was so vivid to the point that she remembers what she ate each day, the color of the clothes she wore and the shape of the clouds in the sky.
All the love and hate, pain and suffering seem so far away. Covered with the dust of time, everything seems to have become so trivial yet there is still a lingering wound hidden deep within.

Qiangu opens her eyes, her expression calm and impassive.
She is laying on a cot underneath a tree in the middle of the lake, while that ever familiar figure is underneath a plum tree by the edge of the lake drinking by himself.

All the past quickly flashing across her mind. Looking back, everything seems like it was gone in an instant but there were still moments that carved themselves on her heart. From how driven by hate and despair she had tricked Bai Zihua into killing her with his own hand, to when she had cursed him to not die, to not hurt, and to not age. Finally, to when she willingly took the pill so that he could get a complete Hua Qiangu back.

She remembers everything.

Millions of years of memories come flooding back. Her goddess sense has become extremely sharp and clear. It could be compared to someone seeking nirvana then instantly having everything revealed.
But she only has eyes for that figure in the far distance, her mind swirling with thoughts of all she had suffered for him, and all he had suffered for her….

A step at a time, like she was walking from the edge of the world, she slowly walked until she is in front of him. The person in front of her is no longer the man who was in pain and pleaded with her to stay. He had once again become aloof and distant.

Why? Why could he be merciful to the little child Xiao Gu. He can be tender to the Xiao Gu who lost her memory but he could only face her, the one who loves him deeply with a cold and aloof expression? Even now, after everything, he is still unwilling to accept her? So then why? Why keep pleading for her to stay?

Bai Zihua stares her quietly. Their eyes meet and all the years that have passed instantly turns into sand slipping through their fingers.
No words come but the sorrow and pain that surround them are so palpable that the two of them almost find it difficult to breathe.

Hua Qiangu moves her lips but she seems to have lost the basic skill of speech and could only let out a few broken syllables.
But Bai Zihua understood- Do you still have something to say to me?
She still can’t let go. She still wants an answer from him. She is still insisting but at least that means she still loves him.
“I am sorry.” All these years of love and hate all cumulated to this one phrase.
Qiangu wants to laugh but the muscles on her face won’t respond so she just remained expressionless.
Yes, after all, love is just those few same phrases, “I love you”, “I hate you”, “Let it go”, “Sorry”, “Forget it.”…
And he will only ever say one thing.
Turning around, Qiangu slowly flies off into the sky.
The hand Bai Zihua is reaching out stopped midair. As one who chose to kill her with his own hands what right does he have to ask her to stay.
Lowering his face, Bai Zihua lips slightly moved. By the time he looked up again, Qiangu is long gone.
He knows she has gone to find Dongfang. As for him, there is no point living so it’s time for him to leave.

It has been too long since she flew in the air so Qiangu’s head was soon feeling dizzy. She is in a hurry to find Dongfang because she wants to go get Tang Bao- the child that is most important to her in this whole world. Dongfang had said that when she wakes up, Tang Bao will wake up at the same time.

But there was no Dongfang waiting for her in Yi Xiu Ge, there was only a still disoriented Tang Bao who just woke up. Overjoyed as she held a teary Tang Bao calling “Mommy” happily, Hua Qiangu spins her around and around until her own tears are all over Tang Bao.

All those years, her biggest wound and hatred, the greatest regret and bitterness were all finally filled up at this moment. The joy and gratitude of finally getting back something so precious cannot be described.

Tang Bao remembers everything but all her spirit energy is gone so she will have to start from the bottom.
“Tang Bao, where is Dongfang?”
Big droplets of tears falling as she looks at Qiangu, Tang Bao replies “Daddy…Daddy died already…”
Feeling like if she was hit by lightning, Qiangu exclaims “What did you say?”
“Gu Tou, Daddy is already dead.”
“That can’t be! How can he be dead? I just saw him yesterday!”
“It’s true. Gu Tou, he died ten years ago. The head of Yi Xiu Ge knows all things but they are destined to die young. He can’t avoid it. So the one you saw all this time was his ghost…”
Even after having been through so much, Hu Qiangu still had difficulty remaining standing after hearing such shocking news.
“You mean all those times, what I saw was Dongfang’s ghost?”
Nodding, Tang Bao explains “Daddy died not long after he told Bai Zihua where you were. Or else he said he would’ve brought you back personally from Sha Qianmo. But he couldn’t so he could only entrust you to Bai Zihua and stayed by your side as a ghost spirit. In actuality, he never left your side all these years. He had been watching you grow up. When you kept saying you wanted to marry him, to leave with him, he started to hope so he kept waiting until you would remember everything. If in the end, you choose to be with him, then he will stay with you even if it means losing everything. But when he saw after you recovered your memory and the first thing you asked Bai Zihua is still that question then he knew that you will never be able to let go. So after telling me a few things, he went back into the reincarnation.”
Backing up two steps, Qiangu looks around wildly.
Dongfang! You lied to me again! How many times are you going to lie to me? Why won’t you see me one last time? I still have so much to ask you!
Everything he does seems to be for her good, but they also seem to meant to harm her. He is always lying to her but then turns around and gives everything for her without asking for anything in return.
She never knows which of his words are real and which are false. Does he really love her or is she just a pawn to him? Is she just a toy after countless reincarnation of boredom?
But he is gone now and everything remains a mystery.
“Does he leave any words for me?”
“Yes. He said to let everything go and turn back to the Gu Tou of the past. In the previous life, you both made mistakes. Now, don’t make the same mistake again.”

 

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