He is not a good Master, he wasn’t a good leader for Chang Liu either. He was always faced with the impossible choice of sacrificing one or the other.
He almost couldn’t remember how he lived before Xiao Gu came into his life. Thousands of years passed in long silence, he had always assumed that’s the way it was supposed to be and never thought there was anything wrong with it. Then everything changed after Xiao Gu came. He started to become unlike himself or…is this the real him?

What could be more pitiful in this world than when the one who used to love you with her whole heart finally become everything to you but you are no longer important to her?
He avoided, he pushed away, he stubbornly refuted. After so many years he has never allowed himself to hear a single “I love you.” from her.

He keeps saying that as long as she is here then no matter what she wants he will give. But the sad truth is that she doesn’t even want him.

The scar is hurting, it keeps hurting, sometimes a bit and sometimes a lot. The flash he had cut off had never healed, reminding him all these years the wrong he committed. Day after day, night after night, repeating the same nightmare…the nightmare of killing her with his own hands.

“Master…”
A pair of hands wraps around his trembling left hand. He instinctively wants to pull back and cover up the scar when he feels the sleeve being pulled up but freeze as a fingertip begins to trace the scar, followed by cool lips then finally a tear stained face pressed against it.
“Master…don’t hurt anymore…” Qiangu sits on his bed, tightly holding onto his arm.

Bai Zihua slowly opens his eyes and reaches out a hand to softly pats Qiangu’s head.
“Master, I won’t leave you. Don’t be angry with me anymore.” Without any memory of what had happened before, Qiangu stares at Bai Zihua with worry in her eyes. His arm seems to be hurting more and more. How important is that Xiao Gu to him and how much does he miss her that he would pass out from the pain again and again?
“Master is not angry at you.” Bai Zihua’s calm expression has a trace of sorrow. She was correct. He has no right to hold onto her. Whatever mistakes she made, she had already paid with her life. Dongfang was right as well. His own obsession is growing with each passing day, he will just hurt her again like he did before.

Gripping Zihua’s hand tightly, Qiangu buries her head in Zihua’s arm as her body trembles slightly. Even though she wanted to marry Dongfang but she has never actually thought about leaving Master. After so many years, Master is everything to her. She was just too angry at the time, thinking that Master doesn’t want her anymore. But when she saw him who has always been above everything crumpled on the ground, she was so terrified that she almost stopped breathing. She finally understood then how important Master is to her. She would rather die than make him unhappy even a little bit.

So…she finally ate the pill Dongfang gave her. She has decided to turn back to the Xiao Gu in Master’s heart. She can’t discern nor does she want to figure out if that Xiao Gu is herself or someone else. As long as it makes him happy, then she will just be whoever he wants. He won’t get angry anymore.

His heart filled with sorrow, Bai Zihua’s mind starts to get blurry again only to feel a sudden coolness on his arm “Xiao Gu, what are you doing?”
Breaking into a soft sad smile when he looks down to see Qiangu gingerly trying to put medicine cream on his scar, Zihua doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the scar will never heal.
“Master, don’t move about. Be careful not to smear off the medicine.”
Running out, Qiangu soon comes back with a bowl of soup “Master, you are hungry right?” Carefully blowing on the soup a few times, Qiangu holds the spoon to Zihua’s lips.
“Xiao Gu learned to cook?”
Embarrassed, Qiangu looks down “I only know how to make this…” Master has always been the one to take care of her. She doesn’t know how to do anything so even if she wants to start taking good care of Master it is too late now. Once her memory comes back then that Hua Qiangu must be super smart and capable. She must know how to do everything right?

His body recovered by now but too lazy to raise his own hand, so Bai Zihua allows himself to immerse in Qiangu’s tender care.
Looking out at the pouring rain outside of the window, Zihua wonders why he still feels so lonely even when Xiao Gu has been right by his side all this time?

Staring at Bai Zihua who is lost in his own thoughts, Qiangu can’t help but think of how after all these years she has slowly grown up but time has not left a single trace on Master. Quietly sitting in silence, he is like a beautiful statue made out of ice that heaven has carefully carved, so beautiful that makes the heart ache, makes one flustered…
Knowing that he is right in front of her but the one in his heart has always been the Hua Qiangu of the past, Qiangu reaches out to grab hold of Bai Zihua’s hand tightly. “Master, don’t worry. I ate the pill Dongfang gave me, I will remember everything soon. Then, you can finally see that Xiao Gu of the past.”

Stunned, Bai Zihua grabs Qiangu’s shoulder “Xiao Gu! What are you saying?! Do you know what this means? Your spirit is just starting to recover!” Perhaps everyone else would see it as recovering her memory but to her, the one who knows nothing, this is like accepting someone else’s memory and life. This is like becoming another person. How can she…

Nodding resolutely, Qiangu smiles “Of course I know. I am going to give the old Xiao Gu back to Master. Even if I die, I don’t want to pass this life not knowing anything.”

 

All text copyright @ www.Ninja-Reflection.com

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