Feng Zhi Wei was surprised, but Qi Wei had already knelt down and bowed low on the ground before raising his hands high to take the small stack.
Feng Zhi Wei looked at him with a smile, watching him as he with trembling fingers slowly unfolded the cloth. When the cloth was fully unfolded, his body jerked as if he was hit by a sudden lightening and froze.
He stood there unmoving, like an ice sculpture, as if he had forgotten how to move.
Their surroundings were as silent as death, only the mountain wind roaring through the hollow caves could be heard. Feng Zhi Wei smiled faintly, but there was something glistening in the corner of her eye.
After a long time, he slowly bent down, motionless, hunched over the flag that had long been stained with time and blood.
His shoulder trembled slightly, and after a while, a faint trace of water slowly trailed along his face, until it created a slowly growing large dark stain on the dark red cloth.
Men don’t shed tears easily, only because they have yet been grieved to the heart. (A Chinese saying that says men might not cry easily, but of course they would if they are truly saddened.)
A lonely soldier who had been wandering in a foreign land for nearly twenty years, a lonely wanderer who has a home in another country but a home he cannot return. After twenty years, he finally sees the flag that recorded all his glory and pride all those years ago. In a flash, 20 years have passed, time roared by like the water waves. In a trance, the bright young man seemed to be there just yesterday but when I looked back, my friends were all gone, and the hair by my temples was already white. All that’s left, is a ray of moonlight that had been cut into shreds by the cruel hand of fate.
It was a long time before Qi Wei stopped crying. He folded the flag back up carefully, handed it back with both hands, and said in a hoarse voice: “Thank you, sir…I never thought that after twenty years of separation, I would be able to see it again in my lifetime…I can now die without regrets…”
“General, how dejected you are!” Feng Zhi Wei interrupted him, “I thought general would cheer and dance when you saw this flag!”
Qi Wei stared at her blankly, letting out a bitter smile, and muttered, “What else can I do? The world is at peace, the four seas are at peace, the Fire Phoenix flag has already been put away…what else can I do?”
Feng Zhi Wei smiled but said nothing. Qi Wei asked softly, “General Qiu…is she doing well? Although she has lost her military position and power, Emperor Tiansheng should remember well of her merits and must surly treat her very well, right?”
“She’s dead.” Feng Zhi Wei’s answer was the most direct, and cruel, even with a bit of indifference.
Qi Wi’s body jerked with shock, staggered back, raised his head to stare directly at Feng Zhi Wei and exclaimed, “You are lying to me, that’s not possible…”
“When the Fire Phoenix Army was disbanded, the female general returned to the capital.” Feng Zhi Wei continued on as she stood with her hands behind her back, gazing unemotionally at the vast mountains and seas, “At first, the emperor did treat her well. However, later, there came news that the palace wanted to make the female general into a royal concubine. She was unwilling so she left and went far far way. She came back years later, her husband had passed away, she was a widow with two kids. She had no choice but to rely on her brother and sister-in-law for shelter. She lived in Qiu Manor as a charity case and was looked down upon for having a child out of wedlock. She finally raised her two children to adulthood, but because she got pulled into an old case with the crown prince of Dacheng, the emperor suspected that she was harboring the orphan of the Dacheng royal family, the crown prince of Dacheng was put to death with a cup of poisoned wine…as for the female general, to prove her loyalty, she died by throwing herself against a pillar.”
What was obviously a bloody tragic ending instead got an offhanded casual narration by her mouth. However, the casualness of it ended up making the chill and loneliness of the story that much more strongly felt by the listener. Qi Wei listened in a stunned daze, trembling all over, his face pale as a ghost. After a long while, he said hoarsely, “Impossible…impossible…she had made such great contributions to Tiansheng…the emperor…the emperor cannot be so cold and unfeeling to this extent!”
He kept saying it was impossible, but he could already see from Feng Zhi Wei’s eyes that these most terrible words were the truth. People like Feng Zhi Wei, would never joke about such things.
He stood there in a cold sweat, leaning against the railing of the platform, and slid down limply. He slid to the ground but didn’t bother to get up, and just laid there in the dust. (A play on words as a reflection that he feels as low as dust.)
He had assumed that the disbandment of Fire Phoenix would be a good thing for her. As a woman, she should return home, to take care of her (future) husband and children, that’s her rightful lifelong destiny. He had assumed in all these years that she must have married and had children in the imperial capital, living a happy and noble life. On her birthday, over the years, he would climb high to send her his wishes, wishing her peace and happiness, a life without worries. In those times, he would be basking in the hot humid wind of Xiliang, missing the dry lovely snow of Tiansheng Imperial Capital, missing the woman with bright sparkling black eyes. Because of that neverending and satisfying longing, he would let out a faint and desolate smile.
She and his homeland were his distant dream, and also the dream of all the old soldiers of Tiansheng who were stranded in Xiliang. It was not that no one tried to go back all those years ago. However, after she drove away Yin Zhiliang, she was then urgently called back to the Imperial Capital, to be relieved of her military power. The new commander stationed in the south has long been jealous of the impressive achievements of the two Qiu Generals (her dad and herself). They, as ones who had once served under General Qiu, once they go back, would immediately be charged as Xiliang spies and deserters, then promptly beheaded. Back then, he was seriously injured and was stranded in Xiliang, but ended up being rescued by a local woman. When he recovered from his injury and rushed back to Tiansheng, there were already countless heads of “spies”. All were his brothers and comrades, staring at him sadly in the wind. He gave up the idea of returning, year after year, to this day.
He kept thinking that, separated by mountains and seas, it would be difficult for them to see each other again in this lifetime, but as long as she lived well somewhere in this world, he would have no regrets.
He kept thinking, he would not live long with this illness. When he was about to die, he would desperately try to find a way to go back to the Imperial Capital just once. Not to disturb her. He would disguise himself as a beggar, secretly take one look at her from a certain street corner. Once he saw that she really was well, then, he could die near her. Die on the land of Tiansheng, close his eyes forever with a smile on his face.
He imagined that the Imperial Capital would be filled with fluttering snow. At the street corner of some alley, she would stop for him, a beggar. She could squat down beside him, give him the last and most perfect pity of his life. Intoxicated by his imagination of that perfect moment, he would smile.
However,
That dream was shattered so cruelly.
All text copyright @ www.Ninja-Reflection.com
Long-time reader here (I have been reading for years). Oh my goodness, this is one of my favorite parts of the story so far. Thank you for your endeavors translating this absolute masterpiece of a story!