“I understand we each have our respective positions.” Feng Zhi Wei smiled, “But it is preciscely because of that there is no point of forcing us to stay together. Otherwise, you don’t dare to trust me and I don’t dare to trust you. How could we live like that?” 

“I dare to trust you.” Ning Yi’s voice was calm but there was an iron determination there. 

“Aren’t you afraid that I will harbor some nefarious intention? What if Wei Zhi’s identity to serve the empire is just a front to kill your father to avenge the death of my mother and brother?” 

“If you have this ability then go ahead and do it.” Ning Yi answered without a hint of worry in his voice, “I dare to use this world as collateral in this duel with you. I only beg that you don’t reject me and push me away.” 

“My life, is actually for Your Highness to take at any moment.” Feng Zhi Wei narrowed her eyes and said slowly, “Your Highness only has to go into the palace and say to His Majesty that Wei Zhi is Feng Zhi Wei, then tomorrow, Wei Zhi’s head would be off.” 

“If that’s really the case, why wait until now?” Ning Yi smiled, “Zhi Wei, I know you are reminding me that you too have plenty of incriminating things on me. Can we stop discussing such depressing topics now?” 

“Then what can we talk about that would not be depressing?” 

“This.”

The horse stopped. Feng Zhi Wei raised her head to see they have arrived at Dacheng’s first bridge, Wangdu Bridge. 

Although she and Ning Yi first met in her uncle’s manor but their first chance to have a real conversation was at Wangdu Bridge. 

That year, on the Wandgu Bridge that was covered with a thin cold frost, the two of them shared a bottle of low quality wine. 

This year, Wangdu Bridge is still looking the same with a thin cover of moss growing at the base, keeping a silent watch over the river. 

Everything seems to be the same as before but somehow also not like before.

Ning Yi dismounted and reached out a hand toward her. Feng Zhi Wei’s eyes swept past the hand, seemingly not seeing it, and jumped down herself. 

Looking unembarrassed, Ning Yi retracted his hand and took out a pot of wine with a smile, “You were petty back then and invented me to drink a three-dollar pot of sour wine. I invite you now to drink the famous brew White Pear Blossom wine.” 

“White Pear Blossom tastes sweet and light but the aftertaste is full. It is a good wine.” Feng Zhi Wei walked onto the bridge first, looking down at the clear river water underneath with a hand on the handrail, “But I still feel the three dollar pot of wine that year, is this world’s most authentic taste.” 

“What kind of taste?” Ning Yi followed and stood by her side. The wind on the high bridge swept up their long hair and tangled them together, like two hunting flags. 

“Bitter, spicy, sour, thin.” Feng Zhi Wei said softly, “The bitterness of parting, the spiciness of bitter regret, the sourness of shattered hearts…the thinness of love.” (The wording of “love” she used here is not just romantic love but encompasses family and friendship as well.) 

Ning Yi fell silent. The wind of the bridge become more and more fierce until an early peach blossom that had shakingly reached across the bridge was blown off by the merciless wind. 

“That year you and I had talked about the demise of Dacheng, and talked about what happened to the Third Prince.” He spoked after a bit and pointed at the ground underneath Feng Zhi Wei, “He fell right here. My third brother. The countless crossbows of the imperial army pierced through his heart.” 

Feng Zhi Wei didn’t move, she didn’t even look down. 

“He is my best brother, the only person in the icy palace who had loved me. When I was a young child and was bullied by my other brothers, it was he who always protected me. During my childhood and adolescence, I spent most of my time in his study. It was the most secure and safe place I have ever stayed in my life. In there, I could sleep more deeply than in my own bedroom.” 

“He is a calm and gentle person. Pure-hearted and uninterested in imperial power. Even to this day, I still don’t believe he would conspire to usurp the throne. Yet, it was also me on that day, who was forced by the crown prince to lead the imperial troops to chase after him…That day, when he looked at me from the top of the bridge, there were too many, too many things in his eyes… that day, I stood underneath the bridge and looked at him, then slowly waved my hand at the imperial troop.”

Ning Yi’s voice was calm, one couldn’t even discern pain in them. All those years ago, on this bridge, the last look in this lifetime. All those years ago, under this bridge, the youth who had given the kill order against the brother he loved deeply. The heart that was once warmed, died during the fierce wind of Wangdu bridge. A heart was pierced countless times by the wind and rain on that night.   

“…His blood covered the whole bridge that day. It caused one to be surprised how a person could have so much blood.” Ning Yi stroked the bridge railing gently, his voice as cold as the stone bridge, “It’s a shame that no matter how much blood, it will all be washed away. Just like the bitterness of parting, the bitterness of regret, the sourness of shattered hearts, the thinness of love, the most heart and gut-wrenching things of this world, will eventually be annihilated by time, leaving no trace.” 

“Cold-blooded people, choose to forget.” Feng Zhi Wei let out a mocking smile. 

“You can say I am a cold-blooded person.” Ning Yi looked at her calmly, “I also cold-bloodily killed the crown prince, because he was the one who framed my third brother. Third brother was steady and wise, there were a lot of voices calling for him to be the crown prince. I hate the crown prince. I can’t stop the crown prince from wanting to kill third brother, but why did he force me to do it?” 

Feng Zhi Wei unconsciously picked up the wine and drank half of the bottle in one shot. She remembered that she had thought he had sounded odd when he had talked about the incident with third prince that year. He probably already had a plan to kill the crown prince then. So now that he is back having another heart-to-heart with her on this bridge, who is he planning to kill this time?

“Zhi Wei, I am telling this, not only to help you understand me bit by bit, but I also want to tell you, “ Ning Yi suddenly took hold of her hand, “There are too many things that are out of our control in our lives but that can’t be the reason we completely abandon our hearts.” 

Feng Zhi Wei was silent and lowered her long eyelashes while attempting to pull her hand out of his. Instead of letting her go, Ning Yi pulled her into his arms and whispered by her ear “Zhi Wei…Zhi Wei…do you still have a heart…” 

His voice trembled slightly, the scorching breath brushed against her ear, seemingly sending the searing heat right onto her heart producing an icy droplet of dew. Those lips slowly yet firmly moved closer and suckled the lingering wine droplet away from the corner of her lips. The fragrance of the white pear flower is added to the scorching breathes, mellow and light, like a pear blossom. 

All text copyright @ www.Ninja-Reflection.com

ps. 1: “The bitterness of parting, the spiciness of bitter regret, the sourness of shattered hearts…the thinness of love.” I think while it is easy to assume our heroine is referring to Ning Yi when she talked about “thinness of love” but as I said, the word in Chinese actually also includes love of family and friends. My personal opinion is that while Zhi Wei is deeply hurt by what she perceived to be betrayal from Ning Yi, I think she must be even more hurt by Madam Feng who so brazenly used Zhi Wei’s love and guilt for her own obsession.  

Ps2: Several readers were a bit confused on how the whole memory “seal” worked. If you guys go back a few posts to read the conversation between Ning Yi and Zong Chen, the deal is that both men agreed it would just make the situation worse if they wiped out certain past incidents and left holes in Zhi Wei’s memory. With our heroine’s super intelligence and stubbornness, she will obviously not just let it go if she realized she somehow mysteriously has no memories of her mother AND brother’s death. Ning Yi then suggested that instead of leaving holes they should just make a minor change in Zhi Wei’s memory by switching the person controlling the Gold Feather Guards from Ning Yi to the Emperor. The Gold Feather Guards was an elite force the Emperor had given into Ning Yi’s charge. Since the Dacheng’s last royal bloodline was a major issue for the Emperor, the Gold Feather Guards had been investigating this case since the very beginning of the book. In fact, if you guys remember, the first time our two leads met was because Ning Yi had shown up at the Feng manor to meet with our heroine’s uncle’s concubine but the concubine had already been killed by Zhi Wei. Why was she killed? The concubine had somehow linked Dacheng’s last royal bloodline to Mama Feng. If memory serves me right, the concubine probably thought Zhi Wei’s brother was a Dacheng prince Mama Feng has been hiding. 

It could be said if Ning Yi hadn’t been in charge of the Gold Feather Guards and was in the middle of chasing after leads to the Dacheng last bloodline case, then our two leads would not have met. Now, it is really kinda unfair for Zhi Wei to say Ning Yi was in charge of the Gold Feather Guards. The emperor is not some benevolent father, so putting Ning Yi in charge of the Gold Feather Guards was just as much of a trap for Ning Yi as it was an opportunity to prove himself. Ning Yi might be “in charge” of the Gold Feather Guards, but the Emperor is obviously still in control and watching his every move. That was largely the reason why Ning Yi’s subordinate went against his direct order when it came to dealing with the Feng family. They all knew the Emperor is watching Ning Yi closely. Any misstep or show of mercy especially when it comes to dealing with the case of the last royal bloodline of Dacheng would be lethal for Ning Yi. Our hero could withhold his help and even try to mislead the investigation of the Gold Feather Guards into the Feng family but once Madam Feng was exposed, then there was really not much our hero could’ve done. But then I wonder what our heroine minded is the thought that he might’ve been using her to get to her family or that he should’ve at least told her the amount of danger her family was in.

Back to the memory seal. What Zong Chen did was simply make it so that in Zhi Wei’s new memory, the Emperor had taken back the control of the Gold Feather Guards from Ning Yi so that means it was the Emperor, not Ning Yi who was directly responsible for her mother and brother’s death. This might be a minor change, but as Ning Yi had said to Zong Chen, to Zhi Wei, as long as Ning Yi was not the person responsible for her family’s death, then the pain wouldn’t be as unbearable. So why hasn’t Zhi Wei’s reaction to our hero changed much? Well, like she pointed out, she really didn’t see any future for them when his dad is the one who killed her family and she is still set on seeking revenge against the emperor. Kinda like, your dad killed my family and I will one day kill your dad…so you still think we can skip happily into the sunset? Of our two leads, Zhi Wei has always been the more logical one when it comes to love so it makes sense she is trying to pull away when she can clearly see that they will one day be enemies standing on opposite sides.

One more thing to remember about Zhi Wei’s reaction to Ning Yi is that Zong Chen had warned him that while Zhi Wei might have an altered memory but her body might still instinctively reject him. Just because the painful memory is gone but the bodily memory of the pain might still linger. 

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