The Rise of Phoenixes Novel Translation #197

 “I am not doing it for me nor am I trying to avoid the debt I owe her.” There was actually pleading in Ning Yi’s voice, “I once said, I will wait for her, wait for her to stand in my path with a sword in hand, to give a strike at any time, I won’t hide or run away. But now, I have changed my mind. Since coming here, I began to hesitate…she is suffering too much, she has been filled with hatred, pushing out all the joys of life, because of this hatred, she is pushing herself every moment, forcing herself to do the things she used to dislike and will continue to push herself to keep on doing it. This is too terrible.” 

“Isn’t this all thanks to you?”

“There is another reason, sir, please think about it carefully.” Ning Yi smiled ruefully, “I am not alone, the fate of Prince Chu is tied to too many people’s lives. Sometimes, even if I don’t want to, my subordinates will automatically do it for me, that was the case last time. Even for those who are in power, there are times when things are out of their control. Now that it looks like she is about to return to court, with her great accomplishments she will certainly be greatly rewarded and with it, a big raise in status. If she is still full of resentment and targets me in court, how could my subordinates allow her to keep growing in power? What else will happen then? Sir, you can say I am inept in controlling my subordinates or that I am purposefully indulging them, but some things, some situations, are truly not in my control. I am a person, not a god. The group that is part of Prince Chu is a massive entanglement, one small spark could set a full prairie on fire. Once the situation gets out of control, then it would be too late for regret.”

Zong Chen pursed his lips until it was almost a straight line. Although his expression was calm, but it was apparent that he had taken in Ning Yi’s words. 

“I don’t want Madam Feng’s incident to happen a second time,” Ning Yi said softly “Just like you don’t want it to either, right?” 

Zong Chen was silent. Although he and Ning Yi are on the opposite sides he has to admit Ning Yi’s words made a lot of sense; sealing Madam Feng’s traumatic memory will benefit Feng Zhi Wei more than harm. 

He is someone who is indifferent to worldly things anyway and the only thing he cares about is keeping Feng Zhi Wei safe. To him, imperial power and glory are just passing dreams. If it wasn’t for Madam Feng who insisted on pushing Feng Zhi Wei onto that path, he would’ve long taken the three members of Feng family away. They could’ve gone anywhere to enjoy life, that, would’ve been much more blissful than the life Feng Zhi Wei is living now. 

He is reminded of what Gu Nan Yi said, again and again, wishing that she would forget. He said again and again, that Feng Zhi Wei is not happy. 

Zong Chen pondered, a conversation suddenly flashed into his mind. 

“Sir, you see, there is actually a lot of convenience to be someone who is suffering from amnesia.” 

“That in a nutshell is deceiving people. Unfortunately, you could deceive once but not twice, you could deceive for a time but not for a lifetime.” 

“Who said it isn’t so? But compares to losing my memory, I prefer to selectively forget.” 

Zong Chen suddenly stood up.

Ning Yi looked up at him with a hopeful expression in his eyes.

“I will agree to seal off that portion of her memory.” Zong Chen said, “My ancestor once said that performing this technique back in the day caused him to suffer the deepest of heartache, I hope performing this technique will not cause me the same pain.” 

“You and I just want her to live more comfortably without a burdened heart, why would it hurt?”

“Your Highness, please come with me, Nan Yi is not here and she has not woken up yet so it’s just the right time to do this.” Zong Chen said with a stoic expression, “I know you are suspicious by nature and won’t believe it unless you can see it with your own eyes, fearing that you would be a second Jin Siyu.” 

“I only found out today that you sir could also be so sharp with your words.” Ning Yi didn’t linger and immediately got up to follow him into Feng Zhi Wei’s tent. 

Feng Zhi Wei is still in a deep sleep. This was Zong Chen’s doing. Feng Zhi Wei was trapped deep inside the enemy camp for two months. On the surface, it seemed she was enjoying all the wealth and pampering but in actuality, it was very taxing. Jin Siyu’s constant testing caused her to even sleep with her eyes open. If it wasn’t for Zong Chen who arrived in time, she would’ve died just from pure exhaustion after a prolonged period of time. 

Taking advantage of her finally relaxed state of mind, Zong Chen decided to let her get some good sleep. After all, sleep is the best when it comes to repairing internal damage. 

Ning Yi sat by Feng Zhi Wei’s side, stroking her hair gently. Zong Chen started to prepare the golden needles and suddenly asked, “What will replace the portion of her memory that she will lose? It is impossible for me to seal all of her past memories, how do I explain the memories of Madam Feng and Feng Hao?”

“What happened will still be what happened, otherwise there will be too many things that can’t be explained and it will make her suspicious instead. As the reason for what happened…” Ning Yi paused, then said after a bit, “ I had returned The Gold Feather Guard back to the emperor recently.” 

“To replace the perpetrator with the emperor in her mind? But what difference does that make? The hatred is still there.”

“There is a difference.”’ Ning Yi replied calmly, “If it’s not me, then she wouldn’t be so miserable.” 

“Your Highness is certainly confident.” Zong Chen gave a sneering laugh.

Ning Yi let out a soft sigh, “Sir, whether you think I am selfish or cowardly, that’s up to you but please remember, I have never feared for her to come for my life. I just don’t want it that way. What I owe her, I am willing to compensate with everything I have. I think you too do not want her to be drowned in a self-torturing hatred and miss out on the happiness she should’ve had in her life.”

“Your Highness is so certain that you are the only one who can give her the happiness she needs?”

“No.” After a long moment, Ning Yi’s answer startled Zong Chen. 

“I just want her to have a chance to face her heart frankly.” Ning Yi replied, “You all know the ins and outs of this matter. In the future, please watch, if I wronged her in the future, you all will naturally not just sit idly by. If memories can be sealed, then they certainly can be unsealed, right?” 

Zong Chen laughed, “It’s good that you know that.” 

He brought the needle bag over, sat down, and suddenly said “A reminder for Your Highness. Although you are very confident in yourself but miss, is not the sort of person anyone could confidently say they could control her. There are residues to a person’s memory. Some memories are so abhorrent that even if the matter is forgotten but the feeling of abhorrence still lingers so that when it is encountered next, it will cause the person to reject or avoid instinctively. Even if I sealed off that portion of miss’ memory, I can’t promise the old emotions would come back as Your Highness wished.” 

“That’s alright.” Ning Yi used the back of his hand to test Feng Zhi Wei’s temperature and said in a voice that is almost as soft as a sigh, “Even if it had to be back to the beginning, then I will chase you back.” 

Then he immediately let go of his hand, moved away and said, “So be it.” 

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A reader asked “I find FZW’s motives throughout her time here in captivity very hard to decipher. Was she trying to bide her time until her strength returned and she could get herself and Hua Quiong free? And, has her heart started to soften to Ning Yi? I was surprised she let him kiss her in the study, considering how she blamed him for her family’s deaths. Perhaps his letter eased her rage towards him?”

So one thing to remember is that Feng Zhi Wei was close to death when she was captured. Not only was our heroine wounded, and poisoned, but her pre-existing mysterious poison-like force inside her was also doing a number on her body as well. With how well guarded Jin Siyu’s place was, there was no hope for her to save herself, let alone Hua Qiong as well. Before Zong Chen and everyone else could get there, the only thing Zhi Wei could do was to bide her time and be alert enough to pass Jin Siyu’s endless rounds of tests. Some readers had wondered if Zhi Wei had fallen just a tiny bit for Jin Siyu but I personally think the chance of that is almost zero. I think it would be quite difficult to fall in love with a guy who is constantly watching your every move in hopes of catching your smallest slip so he could use you to kill everyone you love dearly AND kill you as well. Moreover, no matter how much “love” Jin Siyu showered on Zhi Wei, underneath it all, he still believed Zhi Wei is less than him simply because she is a woman. I mean, which one of our three male leads would dare to even imagine in their wildest dream to make our heroine a concubine AND believe they are doing our heroine a great favor? 

Next question, why did Zhi Wei let Ning Yi kiss her in the study? The author of course doesn’t explain but my personal opinion is this: She was caught by surprise and really didn’t have a chance to reject Ning Yi in that situation. To kiss her while Jin Siyu was so close by was in itself a crazy thing to do, so I think it completely surprised Zhi Wei. If I remember right, I think Zhi Wei did retaliate in her own way but obviously, she couldn’t just slap Ning Yi and cause a commotion since that would expose Ning YI…which then would expose her own identity. 

Did Zhi Wei’s attitude towards Ning Yi soften? My own opinion is that someone as smart as our heroine would naturally know everything Ning Yi had explained to Zong Chen but that doesn’t change the fact she and Ning Yi are enemies now. The reason our heroine is suffering so much is that as much as she feels obligated to hate Ning Yi, she also can’t erase her feelings for him. The fact that Ning Yi showed up in an enemy nation in the manner he did (as a branded servant) and willingly put himself in an extremely dangerous situation must have shaken Zhi Wei greatly. One thing Zhi Wei had always assumed about Ning Yi, even during their most lovey-dovey time, is that no matter how strong Ning Yi’s feelings might be for her, all that could be wiped clean if it comes to choosing between her and the throne. Her mother’s death probably temporarily confirmed her worst fear about Ning Yi but our hero’s arrival at Jin Siyu’s manor has to prove that he is willing to throw away not only the throne but his own life for her. So how can she not soften towards Ning Yi? Unfortunately, that softening would only intensify the emotional pain for our heroine which is why she is clearly was (almost) suicidal on the city tower. This also explains why Zhi Wei only cared about the Gu Poison not harming those close to her but seemed rather unconcerned about what it would do to her.