The consequence of giving my heart a free rein is the destruction of my world.
Now, Ning Yi, what else do you want to say?
Explain? Maybe; Pleading? Impossible; Take care of business like strangers- probably.
In the moonlight Zhi Wei’s lips twist into a faint smile before slowly picking up the letter and reading it word by word.
In the beginning, she had a “just as I had expected” expression but then her brow gradually knitted into a frown.
“Out in the courtyard, there were fingerprints on a short squatty tree. Were they left by you? Did you pretend the tree was me? It would be fine if that was the case. Why didn’t you wait until I arrived so you could personally clutch my throat with your hands?”
Turning her head, Zhi Wei sees the finger prints on the withered branch. On the day of the snow storm she had wandered around for a long time. She remembered stopping by the tree but she was so out of it at that time that she can’t remember what exactly she did to the tree.
He sure went through a lot of trouble to find that tree, figure out what the blurry indentions were and even made the connection to his own neck.
Zhi Wei smiled, the smile, didn’t reach her eyes.
On that day, the real imprint that was left behind concerning him, was written in the snowy ground then covered by layers upon layers of snow before it was wiped away bit by bit by footprints. Even if he was the supreme god himself, he would never know.
The real secret of the heart, will never ever be opened.
The snow melts and no trace is left behind.
The author never told us what Zhi Wei wrote in the snow so some of you might not remember this part since it was mentioned very briefly. My personal guess is that Zhi Wei probably wrote Ning Yi’s name in the snow. Kinda like when a girl would write the name of the boy she likes over and over, but of course, in this case our heroine wasn’t writing it full of hope and joy but as a goodbye to everything she had hoped and dreamed.
The gift basket is empty, twelve exquisitely designed layers, twelve ordinary items, a long journey.
He is telling her that he has never forgotten, in exchange for her silence in the dark night of the wild grassland.
Where have I stored my feelings?
You asked but I don’t have an answer to give. Perhaps it is in the gaping bloody hole in mother’s temple, or in Fang Hao’s wide eyes as he laid dead in that side palace room, or in that lonely forest grove outside of the Capital (where Mama Feng and Fang Hao were buried), or perhaps it has long turn into the paper hell money that swirled around in the wind that day and died along with the snow.
The moonlight gradually brightened. She sat on the ground, leaning against the window, looking up she saw that the faint morning sun had turned into bright daylight.
Eleven gifts, a letter, without knowing it, a whole night has been spent.
The items are scattered on the carpet, other than those that she had already eaten, she packed everything else back into the basket.
She couldn’t help but let out a small laugh- Ning Yi had lied to her once again. He said it contained Feng Hao’s birthdate, where is it?
In the faint daylight, her smile is no longer the usual gentle and distant sort. It is real, this time. Slightly cold, covered with snow, laced with the autumn frost.
Then she slowly hid her face, buried her head into the crook of her arm, and curled her body into a ball- a pose to protect herself and reject the outside world.
She did not know.
Outside on the porch, someone was sleeping on the railing, hands behind his head, his sparkling jewel like eyes wide open as he watched the moon from the east to the west.
Next door, there is someone who sat cross-legged, palms pressed tightly against the wall, towards the direction she had leaned against.
By the time dawn came, other than the three people who didn’t sleep a wink, everyone else woke up full of energy. The one that is filled with the most energy is Saint Da Ma who had rushed over last night. The description of “rushing over” is a lie. On the order of Helian, Saint Da Ma who is so old that his bone probably could turn to dust, was carried on a fast horse in a big sack.
The old chap wanted to announce his presence the moment he arrived but he was forced to turn in for the night by Helian who was “worried that he would be too tired” and had ordered that no one bothered the old saint. Saint Da Ma woke up bright and early, then immediately hollered for Helian.
Hearing some commotion from the front palace, Zhi Wei opens the door and is take aback to see the Helain who was sleeping in the hallway.
Jumping up, Helian extends a hand towards her “Let’s go, we will go see Saint Da Ma.”
His smile was bright, his extended hand full of acceptance and understanding yet his eyes are bloodshot from a sleepless night.
Looking at him, Zhi Wei slowly puts her arm through his.
Before they even reached the front palace, they saw a very energetic Peony directing the maids to seat the guests. A spacious front palace courtyard already seated a hundred plus people, no noise alone is deafening.
*******************
“Where did all these people come from?”
“These are your grandfather, grandmother, uncles, aunts, in-laws…” Peony comes over and begins to rattle off a list.
“Who says we have this many relatives.” Helian retorts, “From now on, they are all my subordinates, subjects.”
“Helian!” Someone hollars loudly, “Is that your Han woman? Heavens, she is more yellow than the dirt under the weeds!”
Hoots of laughter came from the crowds. Helian’s so called brothers who were eyeing the throne were the one who laughed the loudest, some looked like they might fall on the ground from laughing so hard.
“That’s your Grand Queen!” Helian shouted, his voice shook the courtyard causing the courtyard full of cacophony to fall into silence for a moment, “Those who can’t behave as they should, get out immediately!”
Chun Yu and his guards abruptly marched to the middle of the crowd and the clicking sounds of swords unsheathing accompanied their piercing stares.
Some of those in the crowd turned hostile.
“Helian, are you going to use force in front of Saint Da Ma?” A man glares at Helian.
Helian sneers coldly and rolls up his sleeve but someone pulls him back.
“Helian is a member of the wild grassland, he can’t fight in front of Saint Da Ma.” A smiling Zhi Wei says.
The man snorts, not bothering to spare her a glance.
“But this Grand Queen and my subordinates are Hans, so we don’t necessarily need to follow certain rules.” Feng Zhi Wei slowly adjusted her sleeves before giving Chun Yu a signal with a tilt of her head.
A very happy Chun Yu yells “Hey!” and promptly kicks over the man’s table. (Probably a small table for eating.) “Perfect timing! I am just about fed up with you. Do you have the guts to fight?”
The man jumps up and spits on the ground.
The two men immediately threw themselves at each other, fist swinging. Chun Yu came from a military family and had been tutored since young by expert martial art teachers so of course these men from wild grassland without any formal training were no match for him. In no time, the man had become Chun Yu’s punching bag.
The crowd stirred. Looking at the angry men who were tempted to join in, Zhi Wei says casually “Whoever wants to start a group fight, we are gamed.”
Group fight? Who can match against her three thousand guards? Moreover, Chun Yu is beating the guy in a honest one on one fight so the crowd could only watch helplessly as the man grunts in pain. Grabbing a handful of dirt under the weed grass, Chun Yu stuffed it into the man’s mouth, “Are you seeing it clearly now? Is it yellow? Yellow?”
Peony’s sparkling eyes bore into Chun Yu’s back as she drooled “How have I not discovered this boy is so strong and brave? Listen to that question, yellow? Yellow? Yellow!”
Zhi Wei gave her a side glance thinking: how are you so excited over hearing the word “yellow?”
So in the olden days, the color yellow symbolizes royalty, power and prosperity. Which is why the emperor’s official clothes you see in dramas are often golden yellow. However, in modern day, we often describe porn movies (jokes, novels etc) as yellow + whatever it is. So yellow in this sort of context would have a sexual meaning to it…which is why Peony is so excited.
“Do you see clearly now? You can get lost now!” With a raise of his hand, Chun Yu tossed the man’s burley body away.
Seeing the man landed with a resounding thud a few feet away, dead silence descended on the crowd.
All text copyright @ www.Ninja-Reflection.com
**************** It suddenly dawned on me the other day that instead of bullet points (which I will still be using) I also have the option of doing more of a “free translation”. It really takes a while for me to translate since I often spend an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out how to word certain sentences. It dawned on me that on the “less important” scenes, I probably don’t have to be so focused on the accuracy of the translation since most of you guys would probably be happy with getting a general gist of the story instead of caring if I translated all the details and meanings on the author’s descriptions of how a random guy got punched in the face. So from now on *********** means “free translation” portion.
Dear Ninja,
Thank you so much for your hard work in translating and sharing this great story !
Your post is illuminating our Monday !
Kind regards
Dear Ninja,
Thank you for making our Monday bright and happy. Your translation is beautiful 🙂
Thank you Ninja for the translation that is from the heart. That is why and how you bring these characters to live for us. Thank you for explaining the meaning of “yellow”. It makes me smile at Peony; otherwise I would be clueless.
I agree Free translation is perfect for less important scene.
I love Helian, he stand up for her and never ashamed of her yellow face. Why FZW always makes her face yellow? even now? But Helian fills one of her criteria for being her man, ” a simple man who will stand in front of me when I am bullied.”
I adore master Gu but my affection is growing for NY. His love is deep, calm, and meticulous. That basket of gifts to say I care, I know, and I remember every memory of us. OMG. He is a better romantic hero than Ye Hua of eternal love or even Xu Feng of ash of love.
For Asians, as ironic as this would seem to non-Asians, the more pale someone’s skin is the more attractive they are. Therefore, the more “yellow” someone’s skin is the more unattractive they are considered to be. The same goes for darker tanned skin…which is why you see the Asian female tourists sporting their long sleeves with their super helmet-looking hats. (I remember the first time I learned about tanning salon I was absolutely stunned that people would pay to get tanned…I get tanned standing in the shade.) Now, that doesn’t mean Asians would consider westerners with tans or other races who have dark skin as unattractive. The “yellow” and tan aversion I think mostly just applies to our own race. Back to your question on why does our heroine keeps her face yellow. I personally can think of two possibilities. 1. The disguise Zhi Wei has right now is the one she wore in the Capital so she can’t exactly not wear the same one right now when her wedding escort guards are still around. 2. Being “ugly” makes people underestimate our heroine and that has often come in pretty handy to her. Remember, no one other than Ning Yi has seen our heroine’s real face so I think even if she doesn’t wear the “yellowish” disguise, it would just be another unassuming mask. (Mama Feng was most likely the other person who knew our heroine’s real face but she is obviously gone now.)
Thank you Ninja. I deeply appreciate your answer.
I heartily
Endorse the free translation!
Thanks for this week! Yeah I think the free translation for the less important scenes worked out well.
It’s so weird that I miss seeing NiNi and Chen Kun on screen in these roles but I like this novel version of the drama so much better.
And Helian really was done dirty by the series script writers. I love NY but my poor heart breaks for Helian.
Muito grata. Eu diria que nada será como antes ,depois de todos os presentes e recordações.
I miss Ni Ni and Chen Kun too. Ninja, do you know what they are doing? Do you like these 2 actors?
This week’s translation breaks my heart!! Zhi Wei is justified in keeping her heart frozen, but the two men awake all night with her just brings me to tears. If/when she opens up to any of them, they’re there to be what she needs. Except Ning Yi, of course. The one we all love most is the one she can never rely on because of his ambition… My heart aches for this tragic story, but I love it—and Monday’s—so much. Bless you for the work you do.
Thank you Ninja,
Awesome as usual. Is it the first time when they meet that NY sees FZW true face? I kinda slightly recall that even then she was wearing some sort of mask…
Free translations sounds great btw.
Yes, it was the first time they met at her uncle’s manor. She did have a disguise on but it was a make-up disguise which is why it washed off when she came out of the pond. (In this world they do have make-up disguise that won’t wash off with water but Zhi Wei didn’t have access to such high-tech stuff at that point.) Zhi Wei didn’t get the thin skin-like masks until a bit later.