The Rise of Phoenixes Novel Translation #85

Ning Yi sits quietly in the room that is enveloped in a thin wisp of smoke. Behind the smoke is Feng Zhi Wei’s pale white face.

She no longer gets feverish nor freezing cold, nor is her body convulsing with the frightening ferocious puking that seems to threaten to eject her guts out. She simply lays there sleeping quietly, like a cloud that is about to float away, lingering weakly. 

Ning Yi stares at her blankly, after a bit, slowly pulls away her feather thin mask. His finger slowly traced under the mask and when he reached the slightly droopy eyebrow became certain that under the mask is the droopy eyebrow yellow face. 

This woman is so scared that her real identity will be discovered that she tirelessly wore two masks. (The second “mask” is not an actual mask but a makeup disguise.) 

Ning Yi’s face twisted into a humorless smile, reached out a hand to bring over the water basin by the bed, wetted the washcloth then slowly twisted it dry.

It must be uncomfortable to wear two layers of disguises, he should help her feel more comfortable. 

He is holding the warm washcloth but his fingers are ice cold. The wet heap in his grasp is like grabbing his own heart. His fingers clutched on tightly, the memory of their first meeting in Qiu manor by the lake suddenly came to him. Her head was tilted, half of her body immersed in the water, holding her own soaking wet hair. 

His hand lowered, beginning from her forehead, bit by bit wiped away her disguise.

The eyes can’t see but the image in his mind is crystal clear. Like that day in the lake, her disguise was slowly washed away by the water, bit by bit revealed her porcelain white forehead, petite nose, pinkish color lips, a pair of arched black eyebrows, her eyes were misty and mesmerizing…then lastly, it all came together to reveal a delicate face. 

He stopped, laid down the washcloth, his fingers slightly bent, beginning from her forehead, gently caressed the familiar silky skin…he is seemingly transported back to the day he had pretended to be drunk in Wei manor, or in that secret room with her where Shao Ning had plotted to kill him, or in his mother’s abandon palace room, or not long ago in this very room…again and again he had been so close to her, close to her body, close to her scent, close to all her warmth and coldness. They are all carved into his fingertips, his mind, his heart, so familiar that it frightens him. 

But all that is familiar to him, are they all going to return back to the beginning, familiar to foreign? 

Some questions are ones he doesn’t dare to think about, he is too afraid to even touch it. He has faced countless dangers and pain in his life, he has never been afraid nor can he afford to be afraid but now, he is afraid of the cruelty of fate, one answer could tear out a person’s heart. 

His finger traces her face again and again. Perhaps, after being tortured by illness for so long her once beautiful face is no longer? But what does that matter. Feng Zhi Wei will always be Feng Zhi Wei. 

He hates himself for being unable to see yet he is also relieved that he can’t see. 

If he really saw her pale gaunt appearance, then how could he maintain his outward calm composure. 

The heart that is tossed and turned, all the unmoving calm are just a facade, like a reef that has been through thousands of years of erosion, the surface might be unchanged but the inside has long been riddled with countless holes. 

In his daze, Ning Yi finally notices that someone has entered the room, kneeling down on the floor and is saying with a low voice “Your Highness…shouldn’t we prepare…” before choking on tears, unable to go on. 

It was Yan Huai Shi 

 His back to Yan Huai Shi, Ning Yi carefully put Zhi Wei’s mask back, his finger lingering against her neck, not moving for a long moment. 

Her pulse beats under his finger, slowing down bit by bit. He knows, soon, these faint vibrations, like spring water that is about to dry up, will slowly fade until it completely disappears. 

To wait hopelessly as life slowly dissipates, how cruel it is. 

But at this point, he rather count one beat after another, reminiscing every memory of her since their first meeting with each pulse. In this lifetime, it seems as if he and she have been partners but in reality, they have been at opposite ends. To finally have one moment in their lifetime to have their heart beat together…it is good. 

He counts silently, in the thin wisp of smoke, it is hard to tell whose face is paler. 

On the roof, Gu Nan Yi continues to play his flute. 

The rain doesn’t stop, Gu Nan Yi’s clothes are wet inside and out. For someone who finds it intolerable if his clothes are not perfectly soft and light, it is torturous for him to have to wear clothes that are thus but he has not moved, not changed his clothes, not leaving the room that has her in it.  

The leaf flute is wet as well so the sound is not as clear and bright. In the choppy flute sound he can hear her gentle voice.

“So we agreed. I will play the flute and follow the signs you left to go find you.”

I am not even asking you to play the flute, why are you preparing to run away. 

Even separated by the roof tiles, he can feel the suppressive aura floating up. Once it makes it to the top, dissipates, then perhaps there would be no one else who will play the flute for him. 

He had felt such an aura once before when his nursemaid died, the whole room was full of it. It made him uncomfortable and made him want to leave. 

Is she going to be like his nursemaid? 

He will not be able to see her anymore? 

Then what should he do? 

Gu Nan Yi feels a bit tired. He has been thinking about too many things lately. This is not who he was before. For many many years, his world was simple, black and white, there have never been so many questions and unease. 

He sits there blankly, sensing that aura has floated up a bit higher, he frowns before suddenly flipping himself over to prostrate himself on the roof. 

He is going to use himself as a weight. 

To press this aura down and stop it from floating up! 

Of those standing in the courtyard, half blankly stares at Ning Yi who continues to remain silent with his eyes closed while the other half blankly stares at Gu Nan Yi who is laying on the rooftop in the rain. 

Every one of them wants to let out their own grief as well but they somehow feel anything they do would just be excess. Neither of them seems particularly sorrowful. At least one could kinda see something is a bit different with Gu Nan Yi but Ning Yi’s expression has not even changed. 

But it is in this utmost silence that one could hear the sound of a heart breaking. 

“Your Highness…” a teary Yan Huai Shi bows his head to the ground again, “It’s….time to prepare….” 

Ning Yi’s hand trembled then let out a seemingly very calm “Oh” of a reply, but Yan Huai Shi could hear the quiver and sorrow in them. 

Ning Yi gives a wave with his hand, Ning Cheng silently brings over another basin of water, Ning Yi says in an even voice: “Both of you can leave now, I am going to wash her body.” 

Yan Huai Shi didn’t think too much of it and carefully backed out of the room but Ning Cheng stood blankly staring at his master a bit before finally leaving silently. 

Ning Yi’s hands blindly fumble around Zhi Wei’s shirt before carefully unbuttoning it. In the past he has tried many times to get close to this body but this time there are no sensual thoughts in his mind. 

Wiping carefully with a wet washcloth, in the tradition of Tian Sheng, married couples who love each other dearly can wash the deceased spouse’s body. 

His finger gently traced the outline of her face. Before he can even see her he is going to lose her. After today there will never be another chance.

My….Zhi Wei….

*BANG*

The door is forcefully and abruptly pulled open by someone. Ning Yi turned his head angrily as all the rain blew in. 

“Your Highness!” An extra clear and crisp voice comes from that brave widow, “There is another way!”

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