Why is she still so foolish? Even if she ceases to exist she still wants to give him what he wants? But how can she understand his dearest wish is to have her by his side like right now. She thinks she is giving him back the old Xiao Gu but in actuality, it will take her away from him!

Pulling her into his arm, Bai Zihua smiles bitterly. He had thought he could have another ten years or even a couple hundred years with her but what must come has finally arrived. He can’t escape it, no matter what there is no way to escape it.
“Xiao Gu, go on now. Master wants to be by myself for a while.”
Casting a worried glance at Bai Zihua’s hollow expression, Qiangu nonetheless walks out of the door.

It’s late at night, other than a slight headache, Qiangu doesn’t feel any other discomfort. Sitting by her desk, it is the first time Qiangu has so solemnly picked up a pen.

“Xiao Gu who has recovered her memory, this letter is for you. I trust that after taking the pill I will remember the past but I am not certain if I will forget the things right now. I don’t dare to take the chance so I am writing this letter to you to remind myself of this most blissful period of my life. And to tell you to cherish what’s in front of you right now. I hope you can read this. If you really come back and replaces the me now but forgets all the years I have spent with Master in Cloud Mountain then I think I would be very sad…but I don’t regret it. I don’t know what unpleasant things happened between you and Master. Master obviously misses you very much but he is too afraid to let you come back in fear that he will lose you. I just want to tell you this. To tell you to take care of Henji and my family. You must not disappoint me. You can’t abandon Master or I will come back to hunt you as a ghost and seek my revenge. If when you come back you could only remember the unhappy stuff and is unwilling to stay by Master’s side then I will tell you all the happy things that have happened all these years. ..”

By the time Qiangu finished her letter it was already middle of the night. Carefully putting the letter inside her pocket, Qiangu could feel her mind getting sharper. Miraculously she feels very calm, without any resentment or reluctance. Her spirit seems to be becoming whole, like a moon slowly becoming round.

Noticing it seems unusually bright outside her window, Qiangu pushes her bedroom door open to discover that it has started to snow and the night is extremely cold.

Walking towards her Master’s room, Qiangu pushes it open to find Bai Zihua sitting in the dark.

“Master?” Lighting a lantern, Qiangu looks at Zihua questionly.
“Master, you drank?” The strong smell of alcohol mixed with Bai Zihua’s scent almost made Qiangu herself slightly drunk as well.
Bai Zihua waves Qiangu over and passed her a cup “Xiao Gu, this is the plum wine you personally buried in Chang Liu. Come and have one last sip with Master.”
Qiangu nods, sits down by Bai Zihua and accepts the cup. Master used to never let her touch wine. Closing her eyes at the dreamy fragrance, and sticks out her tongue to lick the wine

Tossing back the rest of the wine in his cup, Bai Zihua stares at Qiangu as an expression of confusion and struggle flash across his eyes.

After a few cups of wine, Qiangu begins to chatter nonstop while Bai Zihua seems to be listening quietly or lost in his own thoughts.

By the time Qiangu has finished the last cup of wine, she could hardly think straight and just grins at Bai Zihua.
“Master…”
Reaching out a hand to trace his cool lips, tears stream down Qiangu’s burning face. She is really so scared. Scared that she will forget him, forget all the years on Cloud Mountain.

His heart skips a beat, Bai Zihua stands up, sweeps Qiangu into his arms and sets her on the bed.
Looking at Qiangu who could only stare up at him through dazed eyes, Bai Zihua suddenly bends down and buries his face in her neck.
“Xiao Gu, have you never thought to marry Master?” Why does she keep saying she wants to marry Dongfang and never thought to marry him? Does she really not love him anymore this time around?

Qiangu’s still dazed brain felt like it just exploded.
Marry Master?
She has never to even dared to contemplate the thought, that person…is Master…

Feeling a hand starting to loosen the ties on her clothes, Qiangu mutters “Master?”
What’s wrong with Master today?

“Don’t leave with him. Don’t leave Master alright?” Bai Zihua whispers, his voice so full of pain that almost melts Qiangu’s heart until she forgets everything.
“Master, you are drunk. Xiao Gu won’t leave you.” Thinking only of Bai Zihua’s pain, Qiangu gently pats his back.
“Xiao Gu, didn’t you want Master? If…if this happens…then will you not leave tomorrow?”
Her clothes pulled off, Qiangu begins to panic a bit when she feels Bai Zihua’s kisses tracing down her neck. This is different than their usual intimacies, filling the cold air with a special scent. Qiangu feels her very bones seem to be melting, so drunk of wine and Bai Zihua’s aroma that she couldn’t muster a single thought of struggle.
“Master…I won’t go…”
“Don’t leave me all alone…”
“I won’t…”
“Xiao Gu, do you still love Master?”
“Love?”
Bai Zihua rises his head to stares at a drunk and dazed her in front of him. The her that is covered in tear stains. It’s Xiao Gu, but not totally her…
Dongfang’s voice sounds in his ears again- When you hold her in your arms, don’t you feel like you are holding someone else? Don’t you feel guilty?

Letting a long sigh. Bai Zihua, what are you doing?
Did you think she wouldn’t leave if you do this? What was lost, can’t be found again. You should be satisfied to have these years with her by your side. Didn’t you hurt her enough before? Do you want her to hate you even more? This time around, just respect her decision.

Suddenly pulled into an embrace, Qiangu feels like she is almost broken in half by the strength of the clasp as the familiar voice asks sorrowfully “Xiao Gu, what should Master do in this lifetime so I won’t be wrong again?”
Qiangu wants to answer but her vision begins to darken until the past come crushing in like the waves.

 

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